Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
