I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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