we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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