Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
