dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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