I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
