Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
