So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
