So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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