careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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