at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
