dude i'm inner monologue high
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
