he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
