Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
