Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize