I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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