Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
