It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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