would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
