He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
