yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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