this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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