I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize