I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
