I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
