Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
