WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
