my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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