idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
