We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
