I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
