I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
