i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
