direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize