SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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