Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
