You're my little dorito
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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