"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
