worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
