***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
