All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
