My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
