It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
