apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
