put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
