BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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