He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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