I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize