Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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