I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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