I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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