just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I need water and some morals
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
