just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
