dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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