im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
