hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
