I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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