An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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