I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
