somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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