She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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